It began in 2013. I was 21, got back from Rome, finished the series River & A Rose In Crevice, prepared to confront my fear and search for the meaning of life. Within an adventurous and rebellious mood my mind had started a journey, into the wilderness, into the ancient history, into the notions unveiled to me for the first time. What do human chase for? In questions of nature, faith, awareness I sought thirstily, while my body was trapped inside a social situation I repel. I walked among the incarnations of greed, puppets pulled by strings, listening to them demolishing the elegance and sacredness of words by using them to prettify shabby thoughts and wicked deeds, watching them faking a decency by putting on glamorous appearances and pretend its righteousness, and quietly, the conventional standard of success that I was once so familiar with, the former judgement of right and wrong, of beauty, of value… were crumbling so defiantly in my mind. 

There came a distance between me and the world around, between the appearances and truths I could see, between the ignorance of my past and the apperception I was reaching. And that distance, it is so wide and mysterious, like a river, a river of stars. “I look down, wishing to see the face of me, yet I see the whole universe.” 

I fell in love that summer, in a quite particular way. I found courage, to unshackle myself from many rules and to redefine my life, truly. It is a beautiful and emotional story, my treasure and strength. 

Six years later I reopened it. I found myself much stronger and calm. Now, with a closer look into the states of my mind, I came back with an expansion of it. Back in 2013 I was very determined with my choice, but I was also afraid of failure. Along my belief there was also a level of self convincing which have led me into hardship of revelation. I was eager and sometimes confused. Everything that was going on became subjects for me to detect and relate to a deeper understanding. While I was reaching out to a total new vision, from time to time I was also pulled around by rules enforced in earlier life. It was a constant battle, through which I experienced, learned and grew, and was flooded by emotions at all time. 

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Figures and images have left me a clue. With it, through growth, I’ve been able to trace it down to a better understanding of the origin of my motives. Rather than expression, I begin to find painting a discovery. Each piece is built up by thousands of delicate decisions, through which pieces of myself, pieces of world that’s reflected in myself emerge, unreserved, uncovered, they are revealed to me and to anyone. In the end, it is a great thing to see the choice I’ve made and the wishes I hold toward life, toward world and humanity.